Hanging on to frustrations and mulling over annoying things is like rule number one of what not to do if you want to be happy. And, generally, over the years I’ve developed behaviours to keep myself in check and not dwell on frustrating occurrences. I read somewhere once, and I’m paraphrasing, “it’s literally insane to stay upset about something that’s happened in the past. You know you can’t change it, so why stay upset?” The point is, you might not be able to change what happened, but you can change how to think about it, you can change your attitude.
Well today I’m having a lot of trouble dropping the shit at the door and moving on with my Sunday. A couple frustrating nights are getting to me more than they should, and although sometimes we know exactly what changes we need to make, we still don’t make them. Then we end up at the same frustrating result we were at when we decided to make changes, but, well, we never actually get around to making those changes again.
I needed something to focus on and stop feeling so negative, and since everything outside is covered with snow and I’m definitely not leaving my apartment for the gym today, I decided instead to work on this post, a post about my favourite quotes from 101 Simple Truths for a Better Life by Humble the Poet. My mom is a big fan of self-help books full of motivating quotes so she sent this book over as part of a care-package for my birthday. Not going lie, I’m not loving this book: it’s written too colloquially for my liking. And not to sound pretentious, but to also sound incredibly pretentious, I read a lot of Taoist philosophy and Chinese spiritual philosophy so this particular book seemed like an introduction to positive thinking whereas I like to go a little deeper than that. But hey it’s got some good quotes nonetheless.
- “…happiness is a mindset, so set your mind to happiness by thinking of happy shit.” PREACH, especially for how I’m feeling today.
- “Unhappiness is simply when the picture in your head doesn’t match the picture in front of you. …ask [yourself] ‘How did you want it,’ re-evaluate how it is, and try to tweak and adjust both to brin them a bit closer together. Expectations are a bigger enemy to our happiness than our circumstances; the less expectations you have, the better off you are. Couple that with a Positive Pete set of goggles, and things will feel even a bit more smile-worthy.”
- ”No one is fearless, but the bravest people I know are those most in tune with their fears and phobias, and have decided not to let those get in the way of their happiness.”
- “Make an excuse to be happy right now and start painting with those thoughts. Your life is art, a work in progress at that, and it’s only complete when you’re dead. Everyday is a new day to see it in the way you want.”
- “The most important relationship you have is with yourself, simple. Putting the responsibility of your smiles on anyone else will often lead to the opposite, and you have no one else to blame except yourself. …if you’re not happy with yourself, nothing can compensate to fill that void.”
- “Understand your past, don’t waste time judging it. Understand your present, don’t waste time judging it.”
- ”Your priorities are not revealed in your words, they are revealed in your actions, and your actions are revealed by your schedule. You can say something (or someone) is important to you, but if they aren’t penciled in, you’re lying to yourself.”
- ”We all have interests and needs that need to be met first. This isn’t selfish. Selfish is when you don’t allow others to do their own thing and expect them to conform to what you want.”
- “Respecting morality will dramatically enhance how efficiently we spend the time we have here. It also keeps us from sweating the small stuff (when you compare it to death, all of it is small stuff.”
- “There is no normal, and what’s considered common isn’t common everywhere (the more you travel, the more you’ll realize that). If people don’t like you for who you are, change the people, not yourself.”
- “Comparison is the thief of joy, and if you’re having a rough patch, looking at the lives of others will not help. … Observing everyone on the surface, then comparing what you see to what you’re feeling deep inside, is a guaranteed method of sinking yourself even lower.”
- “Focus on your relationship with yourself, and what you need to improve from the situation you’re in. No one knows what’s best for you better than yourself.”
- ”Just because you’re feeling down, doesn’t mean you have to be down. Have a conversation with yourself and figure out the root of the emotion. It’s very unlikely it has anything to do with where you are in the exact present moment. We busy ourselves to get our mind off things. That act in itself brings us back into the present with a task that requires us to focus on the here and now.”
- “Relationships aren’t successful based on common interests. They’re successful when they’re based on common priorities. If your priority is to learn adn grow, your potential pool of experiences grows exponentially.”
Just writing this post has helped me change my mind frame and make me feel so much more ready to get on with my day. I guess we can’t change things we’ve done or past approaches, but we can change our future approaches to those same situations.
For anyone else feeling gloomy on this Sunday morning, hopefully this post helps cheer you up. Happy Sunday everyone!